You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
