You just made me feel so damn special
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
