i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
