Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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