My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
