More tranny stories later!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
