My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
