I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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