He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize