i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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