let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
