3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
This is not my ceiling
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
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