Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
