We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
