sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
