I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
