im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
