There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
