I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
