Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
