It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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