I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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