OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
