I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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