I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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