So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
