I've blown a few things in my day
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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