Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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