i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
