The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
