Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
