my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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