What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize