I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize