I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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