Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
