Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
