he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Do you remember whose house we're in?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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