Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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