Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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