I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
