I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
