I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
