I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
