Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
