and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
This house was built for laser tag.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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