Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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