I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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