apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
