If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
