What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
