I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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