She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
