"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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