I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
