your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
