just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
