i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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