So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
