is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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