whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize