its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
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You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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