i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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