you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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