He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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