We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This is the high leading the old right now
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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