PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
