I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
