in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
