I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
