i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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