he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
