What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
