hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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